Finding the Strength of ‘I AM’ in Fear


A Personal Stalking Experience
by Ann Duffy-Randall

I came to recent Stalking Gathering carrying a lot of fear (very old & very familiar) in my body.

I can share about my experience with fear:

I am aware I am shaky in the center of my body, both arms are trembling, my mouth is dry, I feel a dull pain in my gut (solar plexus).  I am on my tiptoes and I am positioned close to the edge of my seat.

I place my fear in an empty chair sitting across from me. I talk to fear and tell her,
“I am afraid of you. My neck hurts, I am shaking talking to you.”

I look down and my thorax is collapsing over my thighs.  My thoughts (encouraged by Hal to speak out loud) –
“I want to face you.  I am tired of carrying you around.”

I became fear by sitting in the chair where I placed my fear and talk to Ann. I say back to Ann,
“You should be afraid.  You aren’t confident, you don’t know what you’re doing, and you’re not even comfortable in your own skin. You talk too much.”

I become aware of how clear, confident, powerful and grounded I feel being fear.

I notice my neck doesn’t hurt, my thorax is upright, my head is erect and not ridged, and my feet are planted on the floor.  I feel life and energy in me.  I am who I am here.  I don’t care whether Ann or anybody else likes or approve of me.

Hal mirrors the, “I AM” back to me and I get it.  I feel tearful, a release of pressure and a feeling of calm in my body.  I don’t want to leave here.  I feel peace and I feel free.

I am invited to turn to each member of the group and share my
“I AM-ness”
– the feeling of peace and quiet and not caring whether anyone else approves.

I feel so peaceful deep in my core.
I think, this is
My Truth.

I am aware, now, that it is in the fear that I found the
True Me
– Confident, quiet, no need to explain or justify.

I feel free, light and a gentle flow of energy.