Powerful Healing for Relationships by Admitting “I do that too”


A professional lady who has joined our stalking group to learn this Medicine Way tells a story of using stalking to heal an aspect of her relationship with her husband.

In her words, “One evening during dinner with my husband he said something I experienced as very sarcastic. I immediately reacted and fortunately was aware of my reactions. My stomach and neck were tight, I was angry and my heart was closed to him, and I was critical/judgmental of him and was even calling him names in my mind. Because of my training as a psychotherapist I diagnosed and labeled him.” (Name-calling is also a hint for the stalker.)

This time instead of speaking her thoughts and arguing (creating more distance) she chose to “stalk herself,” to see if she was sarcastic in some place in her life. Her ego (self-importance) said she was not sarcastic; people are rude when they are sarcastic and I’m not rude.

Later in her office she said she actually heard herself be slightly rude to her receptionist and caught it (became aware). In the afternoon she “heard herself” be sarcastic to a client and also caught it and didn’t like it. Later that evening, much to her surprise she spoke in a sarcastic way to her husband. At that point she committed herself to stalking this for the next five days before saying anything to her husband about his sarcasm. A short version of the story is that she discovered she was sarcastic everyday, even though she said she hated sarcasm in other people. This Medicine Way teaches stalking will reduce our self-importance (shrink the ego). This is true.

“Toward the end of the week when my husband was sarcastic I laughed and went over a hugged him and felt closer. He helped me discover something I was blind to,” she said.

In this way of living we see other people become our spiritual teachers. If we are relentless and impeccable about stalking ourselves a result is we leave the world and other people alone. This helps us in being more peaceful.